Has Grief Overtaken Your Life?
- Do you believe that you won’t ever recover from the grief and loss?
- Does living without your loved one feel just too hard to endure?
- Do you wonder how you are going to do ordinary things everyday?
- Are you critical of yourself for still grieving?
You may be going about your daily business while carrying the weight of your sadness everywhere. Maybe you are staying busy because you feel your grief so strongly when you stop. Is there really healing after loss? You may even be worrying about how you will manage if it doesn’t go away. It’s hard to imagine a time when you won’t feel this way. All this leads to sleepless nights and tackling the day tired. You just want the hurt to stop, or at least, to see the light at the end of the tunnel.
Grief hits many people this way.
The intensity of coping with grief can be surprising, and particularly when experiencing it for first time. The legend, told by many generations, is that not showing emotion is being “strong.” This paints a pretty face on our discomfort with intense sorrow. Nobody wants to feel pain, and when talking about the loss and sadness, it bubbles up. In an attempt to alleviate pain, we often medicate sadness, wanting it to magically disappear. Medication can’t create healing after loss. Dulling the pain simply postpones healing.
When nobody is acknowledging the depth of your grief and loss, it’s easy to think that it is supposed to be short-lived. You certainly want it to be. Your company may ask you to return to work and be as productive as before, but “before” doesn’t exist. This can lead to you squashing your feelings throughout the stages of grief instead of moving through these stages and beyond them.
Research has shown that we tend to believe that how we are in the present will persist indefinitely into the future in spite of evidence to the contrary. Discouragement accompanies believing that you will feel this way forever. With grief coaching, your pain is heard in its swells and recessions. You may feel relief simply by being heard. You then can find a new perspective, making the loss bearable and transformative.
Grief counseling can enable you to reclaim the joy in life.
With any death, there are many losses to be acknowledged, e.g. loss of a dream, loss of future, loss of support, etc. While appreciating the magnitude of these, I assist you in the discovery of an internal resiliency that is part of your human nature. There is a gradual turning of your attention to remembering the gifts of the relationship. This attention and resulting gratitude are keys to transformation of pain.
As a grief coach, my compassion for you activates yours for yourself. I listen to what is hard for you to express, maybe how hard it is coping with a miscarriage or grieving the loss of a pet. Grasping the impact of the loss and its many facets is crucial. Through grief and loss counseling, I root out with you how to do things differently. I track with you the knowledge you have previously acquired, and temporarily forgotten, for healing the wounds of this loss. Thus, bereavement counseling reveals a path for you to follow.
My early life actually laid the foundation for me to be a grief coach. All families have areas where they are more competent and ones where they are less so. My Irish family brought its version of a wake to those coping with grief after a death. When my first dog died, I was stunned at the intensity of dealing with the loss of a pet. A book I received taught me about the commonality of such intensity when grieving the loss of a pet. This initiated my interest in assisting others with unacknowledged losses, such as dealing with the loss of a pet or coping with a miscarriage.
I have been guiding people through the stages of grief for over 40 years. What I know today is that everybody has losses throughout life. There are natural ways of mourning and finding your way through it. Allowing yourself this gift, you can have the healing you crave after a loss.
You may still have some questions about grief coaching.
I don’t want to feel the pain.
You are already feeling the pain. While you may feel intensely at first, it is similar to pulling off a band-aid. You can choose more intensity briefly, less intensity longer or never take the band-aid off. Avoiding the pain morphs into avoiding the healing.
I’m not sure that it will help.
I understand that when coping with grief, it seems impossible that it will lessen. Besides, clients often fear that decreasing the pain indicates less caring about the person/pet lost. Acceptance of the unacceptable is the conflict. Yet you probably have had to acknowledge something in your life that seemed totally unacceptable at first. Grief counseling can be the journey to the healing that you want.
I have to do this on my own.
Yes, you will create the healing for yourself, but it doesn’t have to be a solo journey. In many endeavors, you’ve probably either had or wanted mentors, allies, and supporters along the way. This is a chance to use bereavement counseling to ease the burden, moving from grief to wholeness.
You can feel the love without the pain.
If you’re interested in grief and loss counseling, please call 615-269-4080 for a free 15-minute consultation. I am happy to answer questions you have about my practice or how bereavement counseling can help. Inquiries are answered on the same business day.